First and foremost, I am inspired to take issue with this list at time.com. This is a list of the top 25 horror movies and includes Shaun of the Dead and Bambi. I understand the argument for SotD, but feel that it's like including Scary Movie, or Young Frankenstein on a horror film list - not a horror film, belongs there about as much a...well...Bambi for Christ's sake. Bambi!? This list completely loses credibility.
This list, however, has inspired me to do the following three lists - top ten horror parodies/comedies, top ten vampire films, and top ten horror films. You won't see films like Audition (torture porn), or un-scary splatter-fests like Dead Alive (I know those that like this film, just not one making my list because I never found it to be the least bit scary. Messy and gross does not equal horror). I don't necessarily have an issue with blood in horror - I just think there's a certain line where it stops being complimentary and starts being ridiculous - but that's just me.
Some of my criteria include how the film has aged, whether or not the film is legitimately scary, how willing I am to rewatch the film, and sometimes just a gut feeling.
Here we go -
Top ten horror parody/comedies -
10. Dead and Breakfast - This bad, low budget zombie film makes no pretense about being anything other than a bad, low budget horror film, and even makes fun of that fact. However, it is bad enough that it would not even have made the list were it not for an absolute genius soundtrack from Zacharias and the Lobos Riders being sung by the movie's very own pseudo-Greek Chorus.
9. Love at First Bite - Probably the only one on the list that is definitively dated, but also still the only funny vampire parody/comedy (don't get me started on the travesty that is Dracula: Dead and Loving It). To this day, Arte Johnson, the first Renfield outside of the Bela Lugosi Dracula that I can remember seeing, remains my favorite Renfield.
8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The original with Kristy Swanson and Donald Sutherland, I think is an under-rated comedy. Don't get me wrong - it wasn't a great film, but it had its moments. And quite honestly, it demonstrated a gift for comedy that I didn't think Luke Perry had in him.
7. Scary Movie 3 - For my money, the best of the Scary Movie series. Of course it takes aim at an easy target in Shamalan's Signs. Of course there are a number of other movies parodied, including The Ring, but among the can't miss scenes are the movie's openni
ng with Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson who has a much better sense of humor about herself than any would initially expect.
ng with Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson who has a much better sense of humor about herself than any would initially expect.6. Murder Party - This low budget horror/comedy has a brilliant "MacGyver" moment that just shouldn't be missed. Sure, this movie that looks like it was shot on a shoe-string gets off to a slow start, but once the protagonist gets to the party, the film really takes off.
5. Ed and His Dead Mother -Miriam Margolyes steals this pseudo-zombie film from her co-stars Steve Buscemi and Ned Beatty. Totally worth the rental and the hour and a half required to view.
4. Slither - Another zombie film complete with alien invaders. What is it about zombies and comedy? Nothing as funny as rotting flesh, brain-eating humans? No matter, this over-the top piece of film-making is a fun ride.
3. Army of Darkness - Any of you primitive screw-head horror fans out there that haven't seen this, then don't waste my time arguing with my list. This isn't an optional film for horror fans - it's compulsory, so if you haven't seen it, don't get back to me until you do.
2. Young Frankenstein - For a long time this Mel Brooks classic has been the standard against which all horror parodies needed to be measured. It remains one of the most brilliant parodies, not just horror parodies, but parodies of all time, and a strong argument can be made that it should still be number one. However, for my money, I give you number one...
1. Shaun of the Dead - British actor/writer Simon Pegg gave us the quintessential Zombedy. There are none better than this, and the tributes to the greats of the zombie-genre are both clever and funny. Not a horror film, but certainly a top ten zombie film.
The beauty about the sub-genres of horror, such as vampire or zombie films, is that the movies aren't necessarily horror films. For example, what we see as horror now tends to be suspense filled and violent. Seventy years ago when Bela Lugosi played Dracula, the monsters were almost sympathetic, tragic figures in what was almost like Greek tragedy. That said, here are, in my opinion, the ten best vampire flicks of all time...
10. John Carpenter's Vampires - Not really a good film, per se, but it kept me thoroughly entertained. There are a number of holes, and the occasional reliance on the contrived, but James Woods is very watchable as a vampire-hunter with a chip on his shoulder.
9. 30 Days of Night - I'm not positive that this belongs, just because I'm not positive it has staying power. However, this was something new and different in a genre that's often plagued by a rehashing of the same thing over and over. Personally, I thought it was worth the price of admission and I would go see it again. It was, I think, the best vampire film since the first two Blade films - and if it ages well, I would venture to say it's better than either.
8. Blade/Blade II - Not without problems, but certainly entertaining action flicks. Blade II might be the better of the two, with the vampire that preys on other vampires a great surprise at the opening of the flick. As for why I list the two together - I don't rightly know, but it just feels right to me to keep these two as one film.
7. Fright Night - A Halloween favorite of mine, I love breaking this one out to watch this time of year. Honestly, Chris Sarandon makes a great vampire, both intimidating and charismatic at the same time.
6. The Hunger - Well acted, well put together rookie effort from Tony Scott with a tres memorable scene between a young Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. Also a bit of a different twist on the genre.
5. From Dusk 'til Dawn - I put this on my list in spite of the fact I feel that the movie is weak until George Clooney knocks Quentin Tarantino out. After that things really pick up. Honestly, this film would probably make the list based on Salma Hayek's costuming alone. I know straight women that were turned on by her in that. Satanico Pandemonium could bite me on my ass any day...or night as the case may be.4. Cronos - Some early work from Guillermo Del Toro (his second film on the list along with Blade II), Cronos feels more like a Grimm's Fairytale than your classic vampire film. Definitely worth a look.
3. Near Dark - A personal favorite, this film pretty much avoids use of the term vampire, and creates its own mythology. Utilizing what feels like half the cast of Aliens, this piece from James Cameron's ex features Lance Henriksen as one of the most evil MF vampires you will ever see.
2. Dracula - The tragic tale of Vlad Dracul as portrayed by the iconic Bela Lugosi is still and always will be a great film. If you have a problem with this one, you just don't know film.
1. Nosferatu - The original Murnau silent film was brilliant, and comes with a worthy 1979 remake. This silent piece of horror genius contained a brilliantly creepy Count Orlock as played by Max Schreck with make-up that still influences that of make-up artists currently working in the genre. The only vampire film worthy of being ranked higher than the Carl Laemle classic with Lugosi.
Now, ten must see horror films. For my money, these are the best there ever were...
10. 28 Days Later - Technically, not a zombie film. However, it might be the most influential film on that sub-genre since George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. The sequel is worth a look too.
9. Silence of the Lambs - The first horror film that I ever saw after which I felt dirty. Anthony Hopkins actually makes a serial-killing cannibal...charismatic. You find yourself both horrified by his actions during his escape and rooting for him at the same time. When done watching the film and you have the opportunity to analyze what you just watched...well, that's when the dirty feeling slips in. Just brilliant.
8. Phantom of the Opera - Lon Chaney sacrificed for his art, using wires and putty to contort his face into disturbing, painful fright-masks. This, like Murnau's Noseferatu, should be viewed by anyone that sees themselves as a horror buff/historian. Sure, it's a little dated in the over-the-top nature of silent film acting, but what Chaney did with prosthetic make-up work was so far ahead of its time, this film is a must-see.
7. Dracula - What can I say about the Laemle piece that hasn't already been said.
6. Psycho - This begins a series of seminal horror films that each changed the face of the genre. Without Hitchcock's Ted Gein inspired suspense-thriller, films like Silence of the Lambs, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre never get made. Tony Perkins plays Norman Bates with a disarming, boyish charm that is just as disturbing as Anthony Hopkin's charismatic cannibal, Hannibal Lechter.
5. Night of the Living Dead - The seminal zombie film, and a horror film socially conscious on a previously unseen level. It was a horror film with a social conscience, that made a concerted effort to comment on race relations in America in the 1960's. It dealt with issues of isolation, communication, hate, and the mindless drone mentality of the establishment.
4. Hellraiser/Hellbound: Hellraiser II - Arguably the most original conception of Hell and the Devil since the inception of film. This, to me, has always akin to Dante's Gates of Hell - something we hadn't previously seen. It's a shame that it has been marred by a series of mediocre to piss-poor sequels.
3. The Exorcist - Sure, the special effects could probably use an updating, but outside of that, this film could have come out, pretty much as it is, last year and it still would have been hailed as one of the best horror films of all time. I could easily list this (or my next) as my number one.
2. Alien - This Ridley Scott sci-fi/horror classic might very well have spawned more college thesis in regards to horror and rape than any other film out there. It was also the first instance of a truly strong female hero in a boogey-man/monster-under-the-bed sort of movie, and spawned a series of female bad-asses throughout the genre.
1. The Shining - It is the horror film that I can't turn off, no matter where I come into it. Quite simply the best ghost story of all time, and if Stephen King can't figure out that Stanley Kubrik made one of the greatest films of all time, then it's his loss. I still can't believe the POS that King attached his name to on the SciFi Channel a couple of years ago. What a travesty that was.
7. Dracula - What can I say about the Laemle piece that hasn't already been said.
6. Psycho - This begins a series of seminal horror films that each changed the face of the genre. Without Hitchcock's Ted Gein inspired suspense-thriller, films like Silence of the Lambs, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre never get made. Tony Perkins plays Norman Bates with a disarming, boyish charm that is just as disturbing as Anthony Hopkin's charismatic cannibal, Hannibal Lechter.
5. Night of the Living Dead - The seminal zombie film, and a horror film socially conscious on a previously unseen level. It was a horror film with a social conscience, that made a concerted effort to comment on race relations in America in the 1960's. It dealt with issues of isolation, communication, hate, and the mindless drone mentality of the establishment.
4. Hellraiser/Hellbound: Hellraiser II - Arguably the most original conception of Hell and the Devil since the inception of film. This, to me, has always akin to Dante's Gates of Hell - something we hadn't previously seen. It's a shame that it has been marred by a series of mediocre to piss-poor sequels.
3. The Exorcist - Sure, the special effects could probably use an updating, but outside of that, this film could have come out, pretty much as it is, last year and it still would have been hailed as one of the best horror films of all time. I could easily list this (or my next) as my number one.
2. Alien - This Ridley Scott sci-fi/horror classic might very well have spawned more college thesis in regards to horror and rape than any other film out there. It was also the first instance of a truly strong female hero in a boogey-man/monster-under-the-bed sort of movie, and spawned a series of female bad-asses throughout the genre.
1. The Shining - It is the horror film that I can't turn off, no matter where I come into it. Quite simply the best ghost story of all time, and if Stephen King can't figure out that Stanley Kubrik made one of the greatest films of all time, then it's his loss. I still can't believe the POS that King attached his name to on the SciFi Channel a couple of years ago. What a travesty that was.
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