In Honor of Halloween

My apologies to my handful of readers out there, I have been remiss. In honor of the impending holiday, I wish to address a few entertainment items for All Hallows...

First and foremost, I am inspired to take issue with this list at time.com. This is a list of the top 25 horror movies and includes Shaun of the Dead and Bambi. I understand the argument for SotD, but feel that it's like including Scary Movie, or Young Frankenstein on a horror film list - not a horror film, belongs there about as much a...well...Bambi for Christ's sake. Bambi!? This list completely loses credibility.

This list, however, has inspired me to do the following three lists - top ten horror parodies/comedies, top ten vampire films, and top ten horror films. You won't see films like Audition (torture porn), or un-scary splatter-fests like Dead Alive (I know those that like this film, just not one making my list because I never found it to be the least bit scary. Messy and gross does not equal horror). I don't necessarily have an issue with blood in horror - I just think there's a certain line where it stops being complimentary and starts being ridiculous - but that's just me.

Some of my criteria include how the film has aged, whether or not the film is legitimately scary, how willing I am to rewatch the film, and sometimes just a gut feeling.

Here we go -

Top ten horror parody/comedies -

10. Dead and Breakfast - This bad, low budget zombie film makes no pretense about being anything other than a bad, low budget horror film, and even makes fun of that fact. However, it is bad enough that it would not even have made the list were it not for an absolute genius soundtrack from Zacharias and the Lobos Riders being sung by the movie's very own pseudo-Greek Chorus.

9. Love at First Bite - Probably the only one on the list that is definitively dated, but also still the only funny vampire parody/comedy (don't get me started on the travesty that is Dracula: Dead and Loving It). To this day, Arte Johnson, the first Renfield outside of the Bela Lugosi Dracula that I can remember seeing, remains my favorite Renfield.

8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer - The original with Kristy Swanson and Donald Sutherland, I think is an under-rated comedy. Don't get me wrong - it wasn't a great film, but it had its moments. And quite honestly, it demonstrated a gift for comedy that I didn't think Luke Perry had in him.

7. Scary Movie 3 - For my money, the best of the Scary Movie series. Of course it takes aim at an easy target in Shamalan's Signs. Of course there are a number of other movies parodied, including The Ring, but among the can't miss scenes are the movie's openning with Jenny McCarthy and Pam Anderson who has a much better sense of humor about herself than any would initially expect.

6. Murder Party - This low budget horror/comedy has a brilliant "MacGyver" moment that just shouldn't be missed. Sure, this movie that looks like it was shot on a shoe-string gets off to a slow start, but once the protagonist gets to the party, the film really takes off.

5. Ed and His Dead Mother -Miriam Margolyes steals this pseudo-zombie film from her co-stars Steve Buscemi and Ned Beatty. Totally worth the rental and the hour and a half required to view.

4. Slither - Another zombie film complete with alien invaders. What is it about zombies and comedy? Nothing as funny as rotting flesh, brain-eating humans? No matter, this over-the top piece of film-making is a fun ride.

3. Army of Darkness - Any of you primitive screw-head horror fans out there that haven't seen this, then don't waste my time arguing with my list. This isn't an optional film for horror fans - it's compulsory, so if you haven't seen it, don't get back to me until you do.

2. Young Frankenstein - For a long time this Mel Brooks classic has been the standard against which all horror parodies needed to be measured. It remains one of the most brilliant parodies, not just horror parodies, but parodies of all time, and a strong argument can be made that it should still be number one. However, for my money, I give you number one...

1. Shaun of the Dead - British actor/writer Simon Pegg gave us the quintessential Zombedy. There are none better than this, and the tributes to the greats of the zombie-genre are both clever and funny. Not a horror film, but certainly a top ten zombie film.

The beauty about the sub-genres of horror, such as vampire or zombie films, is that the movies aren't necessarily horror films. For example, what we see as horror now tends to be suspense filled and violent. Seventy years ago when Bela Lugosi played Dracula, the monsters were almost sympathetic, tragic figures in what was almost like Greek tragedy. That said, here are, in my opinion, the ten best vampire flicks of all time...

10. John Carpenter's Vampires - Not really a good film, per se, but it kept me thoroughly entertained. There are a number of holes, and the occasional reliance on the contrived, but James Woods is very watchable as a vampire-hunter with a chip on his shoulder.

9. 30 Days of Night - I'm not positive that this belongs, just because I'm not positive it has staying power. However, this was something new and different in a genre that's often plagued by a rehashing of the same thing over and over. Personally, I thought it was worth the price of admission and I would go see it again. It was, I think, the best vampire film since the first two Blade films - and if it ages well, I would venture to say it's better than either.

8. Blade/Blade II - Not without problems, but certainly entertaining action flicks. Blade II might be the better of the two, with the vampire that preys on other vampires a great surprise at the opening of the flick. As for why I list the two together - I don't rightly know, but it just feels right to me to keep these two as one film.

7. Fright Night - A Halloween favorite of mine, I love breaking this one out to watch this time of year. Honestly, Chris Sarandon makes a great vampire, both intimidating and charismatic at the same time.

6. The Hunger - Well acted, well put together rookie effort from Tony Scott with a tres memorable scene between a young Susan Sarandon and Catherine Deneuve. Also a bit of a different twist on the genre.

5. From Dusk 'til Dawn - I put this on my list in spite of the fact I feel that the movie is weak until George Clooney knocks Quentin Tarantino out. After that things really pick up. Honestly, this film would probably make the list based on Salma Hayek's costuming alone. I know straight women that were turned on by her in that. Satanico Pandemonium could bite me on my ass any day...or night as the case may be.

4. Cronos - Some early work from Guillermo Del Toro (his second film on the list along with Blade II), Cronos feels more like a Grimm's Fairytale than your classic vampire film. Definitely worth a look.

3. Near Dark - A personal favorite, this film pretty much avoids use of the term vampire, and creates its own mythology. Utilizing what feels like half the cast of Aliens, this piece from James Cameron's ex features Lance Henriksen as one of the most evil MF vampires you will ever see.

2. Dracula - The tragic tale of Vlad Dracul as portrayed by the iconic Bela Lugosi is still and always will be a great film. If you have a problem with this one, you just don't know film.

1. Nosferatu - The original Murnau silent film was brilliant, and comes with a worthy 1979 remake. This silent piece of horror genius contained a brilliantly creepy Count Orlock as played by Max Schreck with make-up that still influences that of make-up artists currently working in the genre. The only vampire film worthy of being ranked higher than the Carl Laemle classic with Lugosi.

Now, ten must see horror films. For my money, these are the best there ever were...

10. 28 Days Later - Technically, not a zombie film. However, it might be the most influential film on that sub-genre since George Romero's Night of the Living Dead. The sequel is worth a look too.

9. Silence of the Lambs - The first horror film that I ever saw after which I felt dirty. Anthony Hopkins actually makes a serial-killing cannibal...charismatic. You find yourself both horrified by his actions during his escape and rooting for him at the same time. When done watching the film and you have the opportunity to analyze what you just watched...well, that's when the dirty feeling slips in. Just brilliant.

8. Phantom of the Opera - Lon Chaney sacrificed for his art, using wires and putty to contort his face into disturbing, painful fright-masks. This, like Murnau's Noseferatu, should be viewed by anyone that sees themselves as a horror buff/historian. Sure, it's a little dated in the over-the-top nature of silent film acting, but what Chaney did with prosthetic make-up work was so far ahead of its time, this film is a must-see.

7. Dracula - What can I say about the Laemle piece that hasn't already been said.

6. Psycho - This begins a series of seminal horror films that each changed the face of the genre. Without Hitchcock's Ted Gein inspired suspense-thriller, films like Silence of the Lambs, and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre never get made. Tony Perkins plays Norman Bates with a disarming, boyish charm that is just as disturbing as Anthony Hopkin's charismatic cannibal, Hannibal Lechter.

5. Night of the Living Dead - The seminal zombie film, and a horror film socially conscious on a previously unseen level. It was a horror film with a social conscience, that made a concerted effort to comment on race relations in America in the 1960's. It dealt with issues of isolation, communication, hate, and the mindless drone mentality of the establishment.

4. Hellraiser/Hellbound: Hellraiser II - Arguably the most original conception of Hell and the Devil since the inception of film. This, to me, has always akin to Dante's Gates of Hell - something we hadn't previously seen. It's a shame that it has been marred by a series of mediocre to piss-poor sequels.

3. The Exorcist - Sure, the special effects could probably use an updating, but outside of that, this film could have come out, pretty much as it is, last year and it still would have been hailed as one of the best horror films of all time. I could easily list this (or my next) as my number one.

2. Alien - This Ridley Scott sci-fi/horror classic might very well have spawned more college thesis in regards to horror and rape than any other film out there. It was also the first instance of a truly strong female hero in a boogey-man/monster-under-the-bed sort of movie, and spawned a series of female bad-asses throughout the genre.

1. The Shining - It is the horror film that I can't turn off, no matter where I come into it. Quite simply the best ghost story of all time, and if Stephen King can't figure out that Stanley Kubrik made one of the greatest films of all time, then it's his loss. I still can't believe the POS that King attached his name to on the SciFi Channel a couple of years ago. What a travesty that was.

Since I've been talking about zombies, how about horror comics...

Horror comics are an interesting thing. Vastly popular when the medium was first coming into its own, EC Comics was at the forefront publishing horror, crime, and science fiction titles. Better known as the publisher of Mad Magazine at this point, EC's horror line all but vanished by 1955, shortly after the Comics Code Authority came into being.

The impetus of the CCA was Dr. Fred Wertham and his book, Seduction of the Innocence. Wertham, a psychiatrist, linked juvenile delinquency to comic books based on flimsy evidence and sloppy processes. In spite of that, his book was well received and sparked a major censorship movement with parents and government.

In a move to avoid major governmental interference, as the senate launched an inquiry into the industry, the industry itself launched the CCA and imposed their own limits. EC's horror and crime lines, typically considered more adult fare, had difficulty passing the industry's strict guidelines - those guidelines are where much of the superhero moral code was born that permeated DC throughout the late 1950's until the 1980's.

EC's horror comics, often hailed by industry historians as ahead of their time, went away. In it's place, comics like the watered down 1960's entry from DC; Strange Adventures.

But a new player hopped on the boat in the mid 1960's - Warren. Warren skirted the issue by publishing their comics as magazines, rather than comic books, thus avoiding the need to pass their work through the Comics Code Authority. The big three that came out of Warren (at least that I enjoyed), were Creepy, Eerie, and Vampirella. Often done in anthology format, these magazines would have several short horror pieces. In the cases of Eerie and Creepy, they were strung together by a Tales from the Crypt Crypt Keeper sort of character - Uncle Creepy and Cousin Eerie.

Unfettered by the limitations of the CCA, artists like Neal Adams, Frank Frazzetta, and Gene Colan stretched the limits of comic art at the time, exploring places that hadn't been seen in the medium in a decade.

Why? Because these were the teenagers ten years earlier that saw the EC horror comics, and as adults in the 1960's were demonstrating their artistic influences.

Personally, I have always had a soft spot for these magazines. They are the bridge between EC in the 1950's to Heavy Metal in the 70's and 80's and the Silver Age grandparents to DC's Vertigo horror comics like Hellblazer, and more recently, Marvel's Legion of Monsters line, which is even reminiscent of those anthology magazines, running at least two stories with wildly divergent artwork.

For those who haven't caught the Legion of Monsters, I would recommend the titles that I have seen, with the caveat - be prepared to expect at some point during the run some weak tales. It is just the nature of the anthology style beast.

So, over at Wired Frederick...

I have had a poll running regarding what the best zombie movies of all time are (that would be www.wi-fred.blogspot.com). So far I only have three votes, and would like to see a few more.

As it is, weighting each place (5 points for 1st, four for second, and so on), and number of votes received acting as the tie-breaker, here are the rankings -

1. Dawn of the Dead (2004) - 10 points on 3 votes
2. 28 Days Later - 9 points on 2 votes
3. Shaun of the Dead
Evil Dead II - 5 points on 2 votes (each)
5. Night of the Living Dead (original) - 5 points on 1 vote
6. Dawn of the Dead (original) - 4 points on 1 vote
7. Army of Darkness - 3 points on 1 vote
8. Dead Alive - 2 points on 1 vote
9. Ed and his Dead Mother
Night of the Creeps - 1 point on 1 vote (each)

C'mon people, I know there are other zombie fans out there. I want to hear from you - your top 5 zombie films in order, best to worst.

Summer of the Sequel

More often than not, I am going to remain faithful to the idea of writing about comic books, the hobby of collecting, etc. Every now and then, however, I'm going to pop out on a little side trip to movie land...there's enough related between the genres (especially with the number of adaptations that have been spit out by Hollywood recently).

I did some research recently, and it appears that the movie mill is scheduled to spit out 42 sequels this year. Some will go direct to video (as I suspect Goonies 2 and an Arnold-less True Lies 2 are slated for that fate), others will hit the cinema, as some already have to great expectation and fanfare. There is a certain fan annoyance factor that comes with this sort of thing (the old question of "can Hollywood do anything original?"), but I have to admit that it's smart marketing on the part of the producers. By going sequel, you know there's a built in audience waiting to create an emotional connection with characters they connected with in the first film (28 Weeks Later notwithstanding).

In an effort to feed our unending appetites that demand more, bigger, louder, Hollywood and points abroad have given the fanboy in all of us the following seventeen films that the comic-book/fantasy/horror/sci-fi crowd is likely to take a gander at, some of which even have comic book or video game ties...

28 Weeks Later, the follow up to 28 Days Later
AVP 2, sequel to Aliens v. Predator, originally explored in Dark Horse comics
The Bourne Ultimatum, the third adaptation of the Robert Ludlum trilogy
Day Watch, the sequel to the Russian vampire film Night Watch
Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, from the trailers, appears to be an adaptation of the Galactus story from the 1960's that first introduces the Surfer (however, there is no mention of Galactus on IMDB...so, who knows?)
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Hostel: Part 2
Jeepers Creepers 3 (I'm guessing this one is going straight to video)
Live Free or Die Hard
National Treasure 2: Book of Secrets
Oceans 13, kind of impressive - two sequels out of a remake of a Sinatra film
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Resident Evil: Extinction
Saw IV
Shreck the Third
Spiderman 3
Wolverine (a prequel featuring the X-Men fav, true believers...sorry, had to get my Stan Lee reference in, also likely to spill into next year rather than this one).

This doesn't take into account other sequels slated to go into production, such as the next Harry Potter, the next Sin City, and even the Batman sequel that's currently being shot. For those of you looking for something original...don't look to Hollywood. Hell, even most of the comic books out there are derivative...and I still enjoy 'em.

Enjoy the cinema ladies and gents, looks like this summer it's gonna be a familiar place to be.